So I’ve been thinking about this for a while.
It’s obvious I’m not writing as much as I should be. While there might be several reasons for that, the most apparent to me is that I don’t really identify with what compelled me to start this blog in the first place.
In December of 2005, I had a lot to say and didn’t want to burden people in my immediate surroundings with what seemed like childish woes at the time. So I did what a lot of kids did back then; I constructed and then stood on a tall ledge overlooking an abyss and shouted into it. It’s safe to say I was in a very different place thirteen years ago, both metaphorically and literally.
The blog was a place where I’d go to vent my feelings about my girlfriend at the time; those feelings don’t exist anymore. All that hurt was put to bed years ago. The café where I coded the blog doesn’t exist anymore. No, really - the building was torn down.
This blog is the physical (virtual?) manifestation of the feelings and ideas I had from late 2005 to about 2012. It helped me get over intense heartache and the confused sensation of floating through life in the years that followed college. However, as I got more of a sense of who I was and what I was about, I began to rely less on it as a coping mechanism. I had created this wonderful platform out of a lot of pain and confusion in my life that slowly subsided until it wasn't there anymore. Over the years, I would find that fewer thoughts needed to be shouted into the void; I became comfortable with keeping them in my head, or on my hard drive. If I really needed to do something more with them, I’d write them down. Never underestimate the insight and catharsis you can gain from putting your brain on paper. Someone who was once very important to me taught me that. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say that without her in my life, this blog never would have been started.
So, the bad news is that in exactly one month, on its 13th birthday, this blog in its current form is shutting down. It’s time. It'll be bittersweet, but on the whole, I’m extremely glad I stuck with something for so long.
The good news is I’ll be taking some time to reflect on things and come back with a clearer head. I’ve been tossing some ideas around in my head for another project and I need a fresh take. Perhaps something a little less LiveJournal; more Curriculum Vitae.
So ChaseDS.net is going away, but I’m going to keep on writing. For the time being, I’ll just do it in a Moleskine...with a pen. You know, the old-fashioned way.
Preferably, with an Old Fashioned nearby.